Let Your Feelings Show...

It was day 40 into Life without Nicki and Safaree had barely gotten any sleep. The triplets kept him running around constantly. If they weren't in school he was running Zaria to her Dance classes or Daria to her basketball practices. And it didn't help that Nicki called every other hour to check up on them. Safaree just wanted a couple of hours of sleep to re-energize and he'd be fine, and it seemed like he would get his wish.

The doorbell rang and he slowly but surely made his way to the door after making sure the kids were settled in the living room. When he opened the door two grocery bags appeared in his arms and Mama carol made her way into the house. Safaree closed the door and followed behind her and went into the kitchen sitting the bags down. He watched in a daze as she moved swiftly around the house getting it back in the order of which Nicki left it.

"So she told you to come and check up on me?" he asked annoyed.

"What? No, I just know how my grand babies can get and no one can handle these three on their own for two weeks straight." Mama Carol said picking up the scattered toys.

"Wait Nana not that one." Ethan said grabbing his train.

"Ethan you can't play with all six of these at once so put three of them in your toy chest." she instructed. Ethan stared at the trains intently then scratched the side of his face like his father did when making an important decision then picked three and put them away. "When you want to play with another just switch it out okay Ethan?" she rubbed his head.

"Yes Nana."

"Well no offense Mama Carol-"

"I feel like I'll be offended so It's best you just not say it." She looked up into an exhausted Safarees face. she knew he need rest just like Nicki knew before she left he would try to be super dad and do this all by himself. "Safaree I've looked at you like you were my own since you were 14 years old and I do for you as I do for my blood. So take your behind upstairs and don't come down until I tell you too. You do trust me to take care of my grandchildren don't you?"

"Yes ma'am I do I just-"

"Well then that's all that matters so go sleep before I tell Onika and she yells at you and we both know you don't want to hear one of her rants." Mama Carol smiled.

Safaree smirked thinking about how Nicki's nose wrinkled when she got heated. And how her leg bounced uncontrollably.

"Thank you Mama Carol. Sorry for-"

"No need to apologize, I know how you get with lack of sleep." She said straightening the pillows on the couch. Safaree kissed the top of her head and made his way up to his bed.

On Location

Nicki looked around at all the beautiful waterfalls surrounding her. The birds and wildlife around her made her sit in a tranquil state for the first time since she has been in China. She looked at the cast and crew move about while Joyce put the finishing touches on her make-up. Nicki spotted Mai coming toward her.

Mai was the one to let her know what exactly was going to happen in the shot and let her know her blocking. She was such a ball of energy which Nicki loved.

"Hows the Harajuku Barbie on this fine Monday morning?" Nicki laughed.

"Why you keep callin me that?" Nicki rolled her eyes.

"Uh uh don't pull your Queens accent out on me hunny." Nicki busted out in her obnoxious laugh.

"Mai why you so Ratchet? The Barbs would love you." Nicki picked up her phone.

@NICKIMINAJ BARBSSSSSSS..... Mai puts the RATCH in Ratchet. #TisAWL

"We're ready for Nicki." a mans voice came from the walkie on Mai's hip.

"You finished Joyce?" Nicki asked.

"Yes but I don't see why I just beat your face to perfection only for you to ruin it diving into the water?" Joyce said with attitude. Nicki stood. "Hold on let me take a picture so I can twitpic once the movie comes out so they can see what a masterpiece looks like."

"You are so extra Joyce-ann." Nicki smiled and gave face for the camera. Nicki untied her robe and revealed a very revealing bikini. "Take a picture with my phone." Again Nicki struck a sexy pose with her hands in her hair and showed off her very toned thighs.

"Who are you trying to look sexy for." Nicki just smiled and sent the picture to Safaree.

Dat Coon
Wish you were here to peel this off me. ;)

Safaree
I'll let him know once he wakes up. You could find a more appropriate swimsuit baby girl?

Dat Coon
OMG MOM PUT HIS PHONE DOWN.

Nicki was instantly embarrassed, she didn't even wait for a response she just put the phone down and fell in step behind Mai.

When Nicki and Mai reached the top of the mountain she was greeted by her stunt coordinator and the director.

"Hello beautiful." Steven said kissing her hand.

"Such a charmer Steven." Nicki said in her southern bell voice.

"So can you repeat back to me what Mai told you so I know you are completely aware of what's expected in this scene?" Steven asked.

"Sure. I run from those trees over there trying to get away from Randolph and when I see there is no way down but the waterfall I stop causing Randolph to tackle me to the ground. We wrestle around and he throws me over his head onto my back. I hope up Kick, he blocks pushing me into the water, I stand up run to the edge of the waterfall, stop and turn around. "There is nowhere to go but down Liliana, come back with me and I'll forget about the betrayal" then I smirk and ever so elegantly backwards dive off the top of the waterfall and into the water below." Nicki said.

"Perfect mon amour. And you're sure you want to do thee actual dive. Gina is up here if you want her to do it." Steven reassured.

Nicki looked over at her stunt double Gina and smiled.

"No I don't want her stealing my thunder, I wanna say I did all my stunts." Nicki said confidently.

"Alright well let's do this." Steven took her hand and led Nicki into the trees where she was supposed to bust out from.

New York

"Just go do what you need to Safaree, me and the kids are fine here."

Safaree and Mama Carol had been going back and forth all evening. Safaree didn't want to push the kids off on her just be cause she was there but Mama Carol insisted on him going into his study and getting his business plan for his company he wanted to start as close to finished as possible.

"Mama Carol this isn't your responsibility. The kids can come into the office with me and you can go home." He offered.

"You will never be able to get any work done with Zaria in there and her 101 questions. Zaria looked up from the picture she was drawing wondering how she got pulled into the conversation. "I'm starting to believe you don't want my company?" She crossed her arms.

Safaree sighed and shook his head. He now seen where Nicki got all her head games from.

"You don't play fair. Two hours tops then I'm coming to make dinner." Safaree turned and walked off.

"If you say so." mama Carol went back into the theater and got comfy next to the kids on their pallet on the floor. "So what movie is this you three?"

"The Fox and the Hound." they all said not breaking concentration from the screen.

"Your mommy used to love this movie."

"Really?" Ethan said looking at Mama Carol.

"Yes. She said it was one of the greatest test of friendship." Ethan crawled in her lap no longer having interest in the movie.

"I miss her." Ethan said laying his head on her chest.

"I know you do baby but she'll be back in no time. She's gotta work so she can keep buying all those trains you like. She would never leave you for forever sweetie." Mama Carol said kissing his forehead.

"Promise?"

"Has Nana ever lied to her baby?"

"No Nana, never." He said kissing her cheek. "Nana you have holes like mommy." he poked her dimple.

"I gave your mother those holes people love so much."

"Me and Daria have holes on our butts." Zaria chimed in causing Ethan to laugh.

"You have extra holes in your butts." He teased.

"Shut up Ethan." Daria yelled. Ethan rolled around on the floor laughing. Daria got up and began pushing his head into the floor.

"I said shut up." She yelled again.

"Get off me Daria." He pushed back now serious.

"Hey you two stop." Mama Carol said seeing this was getting serious. She picked Daria up off of Ethan. "Daria calm down, what's gotten into you? You don't hit your family."

"But he-"

"No buts Toot. And Ethan you know you don't hit girls."

"But it's Daria she's not a girl she's a poo poo head." He broke out in laughter again. Daria went after him again.

"You to remind me of your mother and Uncle Jay." She rolled her eyes. "Well come on Zaria I guess you can lick the spoon after I finish mixing the cake batter." Mama Carol said catching Daria and Ethan's attention.

"Yay." Zaria hopped up and ran up the stairs to the kitchen.

"No, we're sorry Nana." Ethan said. He loved cooking with the grown ups.

"Yeah we're sorry." Daria gut checked Ethan with her elbow one last time.

"Come on so we can cook your daddy dinner." she took both of them by the hand.

Four Hours Later

A light knock raked across Safaree's office door pulling him from number crunching. Mama Carol popped her head into the office. Safaree looked at the time it read 10pm. He rubbed his eyes and caught the scent of lasagna.

"In here working hard or hardly working?" She placed the plate in front of him.

"Working hard." he picked up the fork and dug in. Mama Carol popped his hand causing him to drop the fork from his mouth.

"Say your grace first." She waited for him to say it then spoke. "You know my lasagna taste better fresh out the oven not microwaved."

"I know I'm sorry. I lost track of time. Are the kids sleep yet?"

"Hours ago. And everything is cleaned up."

"Thank you for today Mama C, I needed this break."

"I know you did. So how are you doing?" She asked sitting across from him. They locked eyes and Safaree knew a generic "I'm good" was not going to cut it.

"I miss her but I'm making it." he leaned back in the chair."

"You're talking as if she died Safaree. She'll be back here in no time."

"I know but we haven't been without each other this long ever. Not even when we broke up five years ago. When you're are used to seeing a person almost everyday, when it changes it's hard to get used to. And on top of that mama Carol we just got back together not to long ago, what if during this time she decides she can live without me? I don't know if I can handle that." They sat in silence. Safaree couldn't believe that he had just laid his feelings out like that in front of the mother of the woman he loved. It was something about the Maraj women that just made people feel safe and open he thought.

"The way your feeling I'm sure she's feeling too. The next time it's just you to on that video thing y'all talk to each other on tell her how you really feel."

"Yes ma'am."

"Well I'm headed to my room. Breakfast at 7am, don't be late." she closed the door behind her.

Safaree knew Nicki wouldn't be calling tonight so he headed upstairs. Walking past the table in the hallway he picked up his phone. He scrolled through his missed calls and and seen he had text messages from Nicki. He'd check them after his shower.

Thursday in Shanghai

Nicki was having lunch with the cast and crew. She really wasn't having as much as everyone else. She was feeling guilty for not calling the kids and Safaree before they went to sleep. She knew they were fine because her mom was there but she wanted to hear their voices for herself. She really wanted to speak with Daria. Every time they Skyped or Nicki tried to talk to her on the phone Daria was short with her.

"So Nicki how are you liking it over here so far?" Trever the sound guy asked. Everyone addressed the China natives by an American name for the American actors. Nicki tried to learn their names but it was just no way she was going to get the pronunciation of Ming-húa.

"I'm enjoying it a lot. The people here are so nice and polite." Nicki said forcing a fake smile.

"Have you seen any of your Barbs while you've been out and about?" Mai asked.

"Yes. They make this feel like back in the states. They always make me happy." Nicki gave a genuine smile this time.

"You miss your family." Mai said to her as everyone else went back to their side conversations.

"Is it that obvious?" Nicki asked looking defeated.

"It's expected. You have three small children and I'm guessing this is the first time you have been away from them this long since they've been born."

"Yes, it is. I feel like a horrible mother for leaving them." Mai shook her head.

"You are doing this for them, so they can have the very best out of life. Don't think that way Nicki." Mai said with a concerned look on her face. Nicki smiled at her genuine concern.

"You remind me of Safaree."

"Oh that's your fella back home?" Mai asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Yes." Nicki blushed a bit. "I miss him too and I didn't get to call him tonight and this is the third day i haven't. I promised him and my kids I would call every night."

"Well go home now and call him."

"It's two in the morning over there."

"So, he your man. He's supposed to wake up for you." Nicki laughed at the sudden grammatical error in Mai's speech.

"But I don't want to be rude." Mai threw her hands up.

"They're men. if you're waiting on them to leave you'll be waiting all night. They are going to sit here and drink all night. No one will mind if you leave early just remember your driver will be at your house at 9pm to pick you up for the highway scene."

"Alright. Will you be there tonight?" Nicki asked looking through her wallet for cash.

"Don't worry Steven will pay and yes I'll be there. Tell your boyfriend I said hi." Mai nudge Nicki away.

"Goodbye everyone." They all said their goodbyes and she was off.

Two Hours Later

Dat Coon
I need to see your face

Safaree
It's 4am babe...

Dat Coon
Pweaseeeee :(

Safaree
Okay give me a minute

Nicki smiled and looked in the mirror at herself. She didn't want it to look like she had just showered and put on make-up and a cute top to make her boobs look good. Which she actually did just do. Nicki heard the familiar ring of Skype and hurried over to her bed. She answered and it took a second for him to pop up on her screen.

"Hi babe." She grinned big into the camera.

"Hey baby." Safaree replied as up beat as he possibly could at 4am. Nicki noticed his eyes were still closed.

"Babe wake up, I miss you." she tapped the screen like he could actually feel it.

"I am up Nic." Safaree rubbed his eyes and peeked at the screen, raising his eyebrow at the sight of Nicki. "You look pretty." Nicki smiled even bigger.

"I do? I just got in from the set, I probably look a hot mess." she said downplaying her image.

"If that's what you look like from a long morning of working I'm one lucky coon."

"I'm glad you realized it." she giggled.

"I miss that." he said.

"Miss what?" she laid down propping her head in her hand.

"Your cockiness and the giggle that always follows after. I miss you baby." he confessed.

"I miss you more than you'll ever know Safaree. It's lonely being out here all by myself. Yeah I have Terrence and Joyce but they're not enough. I need you and my kids." Nicki stopped herself so she wouldn't cry.

"You'll see us soon Nicki. Please don't cry." he was torn. He was supposed to be able to comfort her and he couldn't.

"I'm not."

"Is that a new bra?" he asked trying to get her mind on something else. Nicki looked down.

"yes, i bought it the other day. You like?" She pushed her boobs together.

"Let me find out you got somebody out there to be buying new bras for." Nicki laughed.

"No, I got them for you."

"Better have."

"I did. You want a better view?" She asked in a sexy tone.

"Yeah." he replied. Nicki jumped to her knees and slowly pulled the thin t-shirt over head. Safaree sucked in air and adjusted his pajama pants.

"I'm sorry." Nicki said.

"for what Nic?"

"For leaving and not making love to you. That's the one thing you asked of me and I didn't fulfill it."

"Don't worry about that. I love that bra though." he smiled and licked his lips.

"I thought you would." Safaree yawned.

"Babe me and the kids have a full day tomorrow I gotta get some sleep."

"Okay but leave the camera on, I want to watch you sleep." Nicki said getting comfy in her bed.

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too. Muah. Give me a kiss back." she said.

"Muah." Safaree got comfortable in the bed and was sleep within minutes.

Nicki sat there and watched him for awhile then felt like a creeper so she ended the call.

@NICKIMINAJ I miss my babies.... Barbs I Love you.

Nicki dropped her phone in her purse and picked up her Kindle. When she opened the case a picture fell out. She picked it up and seen it was her and Ethan. She thought back to when he was three.

"I'm going to have to reevaluate somethings." Nicki said to herself.

"Mommy what does re...ree..what did you say" Ethan asked  tilting his head, and scrunching up his face.

"Reevaluate Ethan." Nicki said going over the final plans for the families trip to her homeland of Trinidad.

"What does reebaluate mean?" he looked at her intently.

"To think about something again." she stared of into space.

"Oh." he went back to playing on the floor in Nickis study. Nicki looked at her son and marveled at how inquisitive he was becoming.

LATER

Nicki was in the studio downstairs in her home writing a verse but she couldn't quite get it to sound right. Ethan was on the floor playing with a train.

"Ugh." she crumpled up the paper and pushed the button on the remote to start the track again.

"What's wrong mommy?" He was standing barefoot on the leather couch leaning on the back of it with his head propped up in his hand eating an apple.

 "I can't get this verse right." she looked toward the booth going over what she had in her head to the beat.

"Well maybe you should reebaluate it." he took a bite of his apple and innocently stared at her. She looked over at him and smiled.

"Yeah maybe I should." she pulled him to her tickling him. "Gimme some of your apple."

"Say pwease mommy."

"Oh excuse me, can I pwease have some of your apple?"

"You can do a lot mommy." he giggled. She dropped her jaw at him using her own sayings against her.

"Keep your stank apple." she pushed him off her onto the couch. "I'll just go make a apple pie and eat it all by myself." she got up walking out of the studio. She heard a soft thump then the sound of small feet running.

"I want some apple pie. You gonna make it like grandma?" She knew that was his favorite dessert. Ethan pulled at her pants leg, she looked down at him handing her the apple core.

"So when I ask for a piece of the apple you get all smart but when you're done you offer up the waste? Give it here." she took it from him.

"Love you mommy." he looked at her with his pretty browns.

"Don't try and sweet talk me." he laughed and took off up the stairs to the main floor. "Love that kid."


The doorbell rang pulling Nicki from her day dream. Nicki looked at the time. It was 8:45. She grabbed her purse and went to the door. She was escorted to the car by her small Asian driver Paco. They puled off.

@NICKIMINAJ Can Y'all say Guns and Bad Bitches?

*Well what did you think? And for the record there has NEVER been a female in my story named Michelle, get it together people. So where do you think I'm going with this story? Hmmmmmm...lol Bye.*

VISUALS

Nicki's Bikini

The waterfall she jumped from is the bottom to your left.

Mai :)